I'm frustrated with my therapist. He brought up medications again. I didn't really want to engage and I kind of made that clear. He kind of pressed me. I didn't want to fully engage him the sense that I didn't think it would be a good use of my time. So, I made the worst possible choice and half engaged him. At the end of the appointment I think I seemed flustered. I failed to answer a question because I was only half paying attention. He then asked me how I was feeling and I said I was fine. I wish I hadn't lied, but I didn't know what to say.
I don't know why I'm so frustrated. I guess he's well-intentioned, but I think he's wrong and I think all the arguments he presented me with were stupid. I guess I wish I had been more direct, so I'm frustrated with myself a bit too. Sigh. My next appointment isn't for two weeks. I have an urge to bring this up at my next appointment, but it's a waste of time and I will probably be over it by then.
I think I just want my therapist to be ideologically aligned with me. The thing is, he's a good therapist and I shouldn't expect to find someone who is fully aligned with me.
I don't know why I'm so frustrated. I guess he's well-intentioned, but I think he's wrong and I think all the arguments he presented me with were stupid. I guess I wish I had been more direct, so I'm frustrated with myself a bit too. Sigh. My next appointment isn't for two weeks. I have an urge to bring this up at my next appointment, but it's a waste of time and I will probably be over it by then.
I think I just want my therapist to be ideologically aligned with me. The thing is, he's a good therapist and I shouldn't expect to find someone who is fully aligned with me.
I think finding a therapist aligned with you on medications is an important point of alignment.
ReplyDeleteMy therapist isn't completely aligned with me on non-monogamy, for instance, but it doesn't come up much. She's values commitment to one person more than I do, and thinks of me in terms of "not being ready" for commitment as opposed to something I'll never want, but she accepts me in my current state so it's not really a problem.
Your therapist doesn't seem to accept you in your current state, or your current state of opinions on medication, so I think that's a problem.