Some Obsessions I've Recently Discovered

I mentioned feeling nibbled around the edges in my last post. The advantage of having one consistent obsession is that you can figure out how to handle it. Nibbling is a little more difficult, because it takes me a little while to realize what I'm doing, especially when my compulsion is ruminating.

So, I've realized that I obsess about the following things:

• Whether or not being in therapy is a good idea. This one can take on a number of different manifestations. For example, should I be seeing my therapist more often? I'm not seeing him for 2 weeks. Is that really a good idea? Or, I wonder, should I be in therapy at all. Maybe therapy is just hand-holding. Maybe I need to be a big girl and not do my compulsions and do ERP on my own. Or, I ruminate about how much therapy costs. 
• Whether or not I've disclosed everything I should disclose to my therapist. I had intended to tell him last session that I've been messing around with SAMe, but didn't quite get up the nerve. Or it didn't quite come up. So, then the questions: Should I have told him? You have to disclose relevant information to you therapist for therapy to be useful. Or maybe it's good I didn't tell him? Maybe since he and I don't see eye-to-eye on meds, telling him what supplements I take is unproductive and perhaps will cause unwarranted concerns. But then again, SAMe seemed to have positively affected my mood and attempting to go off it seems to have negatively affected my mood, so maybe by taking it, I'm not really better and am in need of more treatment and he should know. 
• How I come off in therapy. Sometimes my therapist points out compulsions that I don't realize are compulsions and I feel dumb. Or maybe I was sounding too presumptuous by interrupting when I know where he's going with something. Aaah! But it doesn't matter. At all. I'm there to be dumb and presumptuous.
• Whether or not my OCD symptoms are improving or worsening. Have to know now! I ruminate all the time about this one. Of course, ruminating about whether you are getting better or worse really only makes you worse. Ah, OCD backfires, as usual.

I just realized I am feeling better. Is writing down my obsessions a compulsion? Is this whole blog just a microcosm of my OCD?  Aaah! Things are getting to meta, too circular.